It was near the end of the year and Jacob Will thought he knew where he was going until he didn’t. Like all plans upon the impact of the unexpected, they’re destined to change without notice. No map, GPS, or even the best of intentions will ensure an unfettered arrival. There will be turns or detours that might reveal something of value. And then again, maybe not.
But it definitely won’t be boring.
When people talk about someone having baggage, they’re usually referring to those issues that need to be dealt with. It’s not unusual, when drilling down into them, to discover they’re all related. Some of that is true for the middle-aged protagonist of A Coward’s Guide to Living, one Jacob Will.
But in his case, it’s a grand set of unmatched luggage, different sizes, colors, and of no good to anyone, including Jacob, and more of it than he might care to admit. In fact, that is the problem – acknowledging that which he’s been uselessly carrying around his entire life.
In his case, the lost and found is and isn’t the answer. He’s got to find out what his issues are before he can finally lose them, and that’s easier said than done. It’ll take at least eleven little deaths for him to overcome the crap holding him back. And how he does it, well, let’s just say it will take him places he’s never dreamed of.
“Wherever you go, there you are” is attributed to Confucius and made popular by the character Buckaroo Banzai in the 1984 eponymously-named movie “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai.” And it, as aptly as anything else, describes the protagonist in A Coward’s Guide to Living.
Try as he may, Jacob Will has yet to realize that wherever he goes, the baggage he holds internally will always be with him, wherever he goes. I believe it’s also true of most of us, no matter how much therapy. Wherever you go. He has to discard those bags (issues, prejudices, and perceptions) before he can be somewhere else, where he can discover his own truths.
What’s holding him back? The list is long, eleven little deaths long and there’s no roadmap to help him.
In order to move forward, A Coward’s Guide to Living protagonist Jacob Will had to get past “Stop.” That’s probably true for many of us. I know it is/was/(still!) for me. We all have our issues, hangups, and internal roadblocks that prevent us from getting anywhere. And that’s what A Coward’s Guide to Living is all about.
It’s been said too many times, ‘write what you know’ and this is some of what I know or at least suspect. While this book is fiction, some of it is ‘torn from the front page’ (overly dramatic, yes?) of my life. Consequently, in those cases, I do know of what I’ve written. Some of the issues written in this book are universal, while others are personal. A number of incidents portrayed here are real and for the most part, unembellished. Except for the alarm clock.
Other situations are fiction with a hint of truth/reality in them. Hopefully, the whole book rings true. For the past few months, I’ve been teasing about the story here. Now, as I move forward with the blog part of this website, I will write more about what brought A Coward’s Guide to Living into being. I hope you enjoy it.
Exactly. It’s like what your parents might have said, “If someone told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?”
And as a child not wanting to upset their mother or father, the answer would probably be a sheepish “no.”
But what happens when your best friend leaves a deathbed wish for you to commit eleven little deaths… of your own. You. Not someone else. And it’s all legal.
What would you do? And why?
Truer words have never been spoken. They’re especially poignant as the trip middle-aged Jacob Will was embarking upon was a solo endeavor. And it would be safe to say, Jacob did not love himself.
This journey was also laced with no small amount of irony as what precipitated it was the suicide of Jacob’s best friend. Just like Hemingway, who he was to encounter later on. While Jacob was not intent on his own suicide, he did have to commit eleven little deaths of his own. What would Ernest have said about that?
Timing is everything or so it’s been said. Jacob Will’s timing was not the best in the world. Nor was his best friend’s death.
But in the affairs of the heart department, Jacob’s really stunk. Deciding upon taking a job instead of love cost him dearly. And what would later prove to be the equivalent of a deep-sea salvage operation, it would be fraught with risk. Ultimately, he might discover that ship had sailed leaving him behind. #elevenlittledeaths
After hours on the road in his attempt to commit eleven little deaths of his own, Jacob Will stopped at the first liquor store he found. Not so much to quench his thirst or to imbibe, but upon a realization, he was determined to commit the first of these deaths right then.
But did he have to buy such an expensive bottle of Champagne to do it? More importantly, what did he do with it if not drink it? And what happened afterwards?
#elevenlittledeaths
‘What is there to do in Roswell?’
That’s what was on Jacob Will’s mind as he pulled into town. There was no shortage of signs, businesses, museums, and teams commemorating the aliens’ place in local culture. Short of boarding the next saucer out, it really wasn’t that different from other towns. Besides, he’d seen weirder things at the advertising agency he’d worked at.
So, not necessarily a believer in things UFOs, extra-terrestrial and such, he still wanted something to remember his visit and a crappy baseball cap wouldn’t do. His solution was as alien to him as those portrayed all over town. But what did that have to do with his eleven little deaths?
A lot.
Outside of Amarillo, Texas, on Route 66, are ten wildly painted Cadillacs, buried nose down in the ground. That was exactly one less than the eleven little deaths Jacob Will had to commit. Would there be one more planted in the soil if he was successful?
He would have been hard-pressed to figure out what they meant to him in a cosmic sense. But like some automotive Stonehenge, he was drawn to them. Created by modern-day Druids, the Ant Farm, back in the ’70’s, the installation has lasted longer than the cars’ useful life. How does that comport with Jacob’s quest?
Bruce Meisterman 