Your honor, please.

No, this is not a post about the law. This is about honor. Yours, mine, and society in general. And in general, it appears to be missing.

Let’s talk about honor. Who are some honorable people? Lincoln? OK. Washington? Yeah. Rosa Parks? Definitely. Anwar Sadat? No question. Nelson Mandela? Without a doubt. The list goes on and on. Each one need not be a complete paragon of virtue, after all they were only human and surely must have had their own failings.

So, what are the qualities that make an honorable person? Generosity – for sure. Honesty – top of the list. Considerate – of course. Civility – you bet. This list could go on and on as well.

But, and this is important, who in positions of influence would be included on your list? Certainly, everyone will have their own list of candidates and depending on the individuals asked, there may be little to no overlap of opinions. However, lists currently drawn up may be on the short side. Why is that?

The world, and particularly the USA, is in a fractious period. Trust is at an all-time low. Not blind trust for that originates in ignorance, a pie-in-the-sky belief that nothing requires questioning. Honor may be ascribed to someone for no other reason than position of authority. Let’s not confuse respect with honor. Respect should only be rewarded when honor is displayed and not only for one time though that is to be recognized.

Honor is not a sometime thing. Either you got it or you don’t. We strive to live with honor daily, a hard task. In the long run, that will benefit everyone.

Now, who wants to tell our friends in DC to do the same?

You get a review, and you get a review and…

Oprah Winfrey aside, this is what it’s starting to feel like. Now don’t get me wrong – if Oprah were to offer me a new car, I’d have to seriously consider it. But that’s not going to happen, at least I don’t think so.

However, reviews of my book A Coward’s Guide to Living are coming in and I’m more than willing to accept them as they’ve been very positive. I”ll even take the less than positive ones as they have real value as well.

So, here are excerpts from some of them as posted on Amazon, GoodReads, and Reader’s Favorites:

“I felt as if I saw a human caterpillar turn into a butterfly; the character development was compelling. Great read.” – JW

“Just like Homer and Kerouac, Meisterman peels back layers of his protagonist with a journey, one only the courageous can truly complete.” – FM

“Bruce Meisterman provided so many nuggets and passages of wisdom in A Coward’s Guide to Living that were eye-opening… If you’re looking to gain some understanding and direction for improving your life, this book will be a great way to start.” – VN

“A character-driven drama about a young man’s quest for self-discovery, A Coward’s Guide to Living focuses on the little things that can hold a man back from living his life to the fullest.” – PD

“I highly recommend this book to anyone in search of a good story. This story makes you laugh and cry and feel like you’ve never felt before. This book is not to be missed.” – AS

“This is a GREAT BOOK !!! It will hold your attention. Full of Truth, Love, Discovery and Humor. Once you start to read it, you will not want to put it down. You will definitely “become” Jacob, the main character. It is a MUST READ.” – MF

So with reviews such as these, I’ll skip Oprah’s cars and go for more of these. But if she wants to include me in her book club, I’d have no choice but to say “Yes”.

Who knows where the time goes? – Part 2.

“Like sands through the hour glass…” – goes the opening quote from the TV soap opera, The Days of Our Lives. That quote is misleading though, time never runs out. It is us who run out of time.

“There’s never enough time” we may complain. “I don’t have time for that” we can protest. “If only I had more time” we cry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, it’s what we make of it. I’m as guilty as the next person in managing time. Time spent frivolously on the internet, time spent worrying about things beyond my control. Time wasted in useless endeavors. The list goes on.

It would be easy to recommend time-saving devices, programs, and tools. The truth is they don’t really work unless we make ourselves slaves or acolytes to and of them, spending all our time on them. Nah, not for me.

Am I stating I’m about to initiate a profound change in my life? No, not really, just maybe be a little more aware of where my time goes.

So, perhaps that will start with breakfast. What better way to start saving precious time than with a one minute egg? I’m feeling better already.

“We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.” ― Oscar Wilde

Has any quote been more appropriate for now than this one by Oscar Wilde? Say what you may about him, Wilde sought to transpose the beauty he saw in art into daily life.

Wilde believed that the artist should hold forth higher ideals, and that pleasure and beauty would replace utilitarian ethics. His pursuit of such led him into situations that would see him incarcerated for “gross indecency” and “homosexual” behavior. Thankfully, laws such as those that imprisoned him have been overturned in most places. But prisons don’t need to have walls to remove people from society. There are other ways of separating those “undesirables” from the larger group. And unfortunately, we’ve become quite adept at doing so.

It is the quote at the top of this post that resonates the most with me today. We find ourselves in a terrible place – one where we’re isolating ourselves from a world that has become dangerously contagious; one that has become horribly divided; one that is economically insecure; and finally, one that ignores or worse, pits brother against brother.

This is a world we have created, perhaps not intentionally, but through neglect and inconsideration of others. We have looked out for ourselves to the detriment of others in an Ayn Rand wet dream, focusing on the individual over each other. Indeed, “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.”

Wilde had it right. This is our world and we have made it a hell, but we can also change that. Do we have the fortitude and the intention to do that? It would mean some seismic shifts from the top to the bottom of this country. No one will be left unaffected by it; some will be pleased and others will be furious. Change isn’t easy.

Again, “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.” What are we going to do about it?

#bmeisterman.com

The devil you know vs…

At what point in a person’s life does self-awareness seep in? Or perhaps the question should be, does everyone achieve self-awareness? The fates aren’t that egalitarian. Arguably, they appear to be sheltering-at-home lately, wherever that may be, and not doling out that quality broadly. I would posit that at no time in our recent history has there been a greater lack of self-awareness than now. Yes, the fates are either staying at home or are enjoying no small amount of Schadenfreude over the current state of affairs.

Nowhere is that lack of self-awareness more apparent than in government. Not just at the national level, but state and local as well. There are those carelessly handing down edicts whose ramifications will be felt for generations. There has been too much division in this country for too long, the latest line of demarcation being old vs. young. Who gets to live and, well, you know the argument.

In the ’60’s, one of the rallying cries was “Don’t trust anyone over 30.” Has that come to pass? Were I still in that demographic, I could very well be carrying that placard. It seems that too many of those in power shouldn’t be trusted with those decisions affecting our lives and not surprisingly, they are over 30. Maybe we should have paid more attention to that slogan.

Some are just simply over their heads, flailing about (see Peter principle below) with maybe some cognizance of their limitations. Others believe their own PR and are enamored with their self-importance (see Dunning-Kruger below) and believe in an unrivaled omnipotence. Both are dangerous, one more than the other.

So you decide, the devil you know or… Who wants to make that decision?

Info dump: To keep all things equal, the source for the information below is Wikipedia (for better or worse).

The Peter principle is a concept in management developed by Laurence J. Peter, which observes that people in a hierarchy tend to rise to their “level of incompetence”: an employee is promoted based on their success in previous jobs until they reach a level at which they are no longer competent, as skills in one job do not necessarily translate to another. (Wikipedia)

In the field of psychology, the Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability. It is related to the cognitive bias of illusory superiority and comes from the inability of people to recognize their lack of ability. Without the self-awareness of metacognition, people cannot objectively evaluate their competence or incompetence. (Wikipedia)   #bmeisterman.com

What is love?

In 1993, the Trinidadian-German Eurodance artist Haddaway released the club song What is Love? And what does that have to do with Jacob Will? A lot it seems. To him, love eventually led to hurt and he was afraid of that. That was just one of his issues.

On his quest to commit eleven little deaths, he saw first hand what love really looked like – and it wasn’t at all what he knew. But he did know it was genuine and right.

A set of unmatched bags…

When people talk about someone having baggage, they’re usually referring to those issues that need to be dealt with. It’s not unusual, when drilling down into them, to discover they’re all related. Some of that is true for the middle-aged protagonist of A Coward’s Guide to Living, one Jacob Will.

But in his case, it’s a grand set of unmatched luggage, different sizes, colors, and of no good to anyone, including Jacob, and more of it than he might care to admit. In fact, that is the problem – acknowledging that which he’s been uselessly carrying around his entire life.

In his case, the lost and found is and isn’t the answer. He’s got to find out what his issues are before he can finally lose them, and that’s easier said than done. It’ll take at least eleven little deaths for him to overcome the crap holding him back.  And how he does it, well, let’s just say it will take him places he’s never dreamed of.

True life.

In order to move forward, A Coward’s Guide to Living protagonist Jacob Will had to get past “Stop.” That’s probably true for many of us. I know it is/was/(still!) for me. We all have our issues, hangups, and internal roadblocks that prevent us from getting anywhere. And that’s what A Coward’s Guide to Living is all about.

It’s been said too many times, ‘write what you know’ and this is some of what I know or at least suspect. While this book is fiction, some of it is ‘torn from the front page’ (overly dramatic, yes?) of my life. Consequently, in those cases, I do know of what I’ve written. Some of the issues written in this book are universal, while others are personal. A number of incidents portrayed here are real and for the most part, unembellished. Except for the alarm clock.

Other situations are fiction with a hint of truth/reality in them. Hopefully, the whole book rings true. For the past few months, I’ve been teasing about the story here. Now, as I move forward with the blog part of this website, I will write more about what brought A Coward’s Guide to Living into being. I hope you enjoy it.