Amidst his travels in attempting eleven little deaths of his own (really himself), Jacob Will visited a fortune teller. Not because he thought he’d find any answers, but strictly for entertainment. He was not entertained.
Nor was he when he tried his luck with the machine version. There was an unanimity of opinions. But would he heed their advice?
Trying to find one’s self is about as confounding as choosing which highway or exit to use when there’s no specific locale in mind. There are so many choices. For better or worse, each decision will have it’s own consequence. You could find yourself in line at a Taco Bell (nothing wrong with that) or at a linen-covered table at the Ritz-Carlton (certainly nothing wrong with that either). Either way, it’s your move.
It’s been said the journey is far more interesting that reaching the final destination. Jacob Will might argue that point. Patience has never been a strong suit of his and it will be tested in his quest for his eleven little deaths. Until he truly understands what’s at stake, he won’t realize what’s he’s been missing.
Joseph Campbell (The Power of Myth) has spoken about the transformation of the consciousness and it’s effect on life. It’s now time for Jacob’s transformation to begin. #elevenlittledeaths
Jacob Will was never big on religion, not that he wasn’t exposed to it. At some point, it didn’t “take.” Maybe it was the glut of televangelists on TV that turned him off. So going into a church for his best friend’s funeral was not high on his list, bucket or otherwise.
And a conversation with the minister afterwards was completely unexpected. What made it more so was the life-altering effect it was to have on him.
Had he given it any thought, the lyrics from an R.E.M. song, Losing My Religion might have resonated with him.
A friend’s influence can last forever.
A hero was not how Jacob Will would ever describe himself. Growing up, he didn’t have the heroes young boys normally had. Since sports were not a thing he was interested in, it didn’t matter what records were set by athletes, they held no attraction. Likewise movie stars, though he did, as most boys at a certain age, fantasize about the unattainable females he saw on the screen.
Though, embarking on his journey of middle-aged, self-discovery, he was in one way a hero – though not in the mythic realm. But more in the sense of Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey, that of an adventure: enduring, maybe prevailing, but coming back changed – transformed.
Unlike Homer’s Odyssey, there were no Sirens nor Scylla and Charybdis to contend with. But he would have to experience life, his own rocks and hard places, as he hadn’t yet. Would he survive? Only his Eleven Little Deaths will determine that.
“Watching my life go by” is a song by the late musician Michael Hedges, written from the point of view from the back seat of a station wagon. The lyrics, posted here, are a good description of Eleven Little Deaths protagonist Jacob Will’s life.
As a child traveling south on vacation with his parents, Jacob remembers stopping at a Stuckey’s for his father’s favorite nut bars. It’s only one of many things he’ll think about now on his journey in search of himself. He’s missed a lot of things in his life. And maybe now he’ll stop watching his life go by and start living it. Click this link to hear the song. #elevenlittledeaths
The next morning, Jacob Will will wonder whose bright idea it was to get into a political discussion in a Southern bar. Being a Yankee, it wasn’t enough that he was on unfamiliar ground, he had been drinking. Being a somewhat drunk Yankee, he probably had it coming.
And now, he was a hung-over Yankee with a black eye. It wasn’t a bright idea at all, rather it was pretty damn dim.
And where do you go when you’ve been instructed not to use any maps, GPS, and if you’re inclined to make a right turn, go left instead?
That’s the conundrum facing Jacob Will as he embarks on a life-changing journey. In one sense, he’s been held back from the school of hard knocks his entire life. But now, school is open and his graduation is in doubt.
When Jacob Will was a young man, his father imparted some timeless wisdom: “There are two things one should never discuss – politics and religion.”
It was lesson Jacob learned the hard way.
Leaving home for parts unknown, it would have been hard for Jacob Will to discern whether or not it was rain or tears of grief that distorted his vision. Whatever they were. the road ahead was blurred by them. Not a particularly auspicious beginning as he drove through the Watchung mountains of New Jersey. (Mountains indeed.)
To a lot of people, the idea of leaving the greater NYC area would be anathema. Why? That’s a good question.
But if the only way to find your way home, or in life, is to leave, then that’s not such a difficult decision. And if it’s true, that wherever you go your issues are still with you, what must you do in order to answer that questions?
For Jacob Will, it’s simple – Eleven Little Deaths, all his. All he has to do is hit the road and pray it doesn’t hit back.
Bruce Meisterman 