Thoughts while on “hold”.

How many times has one been put on hold for what seems like eternity after being told “your call is important to us”? Just how important is it, really?

While waiting in an office for an appointment, I’ve been offered coffee or water. That tells me that I am important enough to recognize my presence.

On the phone, we’re treated to generic “music” or what passes for it. Thinking longer about that, I wonder who composed it and were they paid royalties for it? Going deeper into that, did they study “music” in a conservatory? Do they have a record deal? Where can we get their latest CD or stream it?

Are all these call centers that busy all the time or is everyone on an extended coffee break? If they are indeed that busy, what does it say about the quality of their products that so many people are calling for assistance?

Is there really a queue in where our calls are placed or is it more like a Mayberry switchboard where some overworked operator is plugging in lines willy-nilly?

And then, only then, after waiting for the Messiah to come, is your call picked up by someone uniquely unqualified to help you. After explaining your situation multiple times, you’re asked to, yet again, be put on hold for a brief moment. The dictionary explains brief thusly: “of short duration.” “Brief” in their world is measured by a calendar, not by a clock.

Currently, I’ve been on hold for over forty-five minutes, though I’ve been reassured I’m next in the queue. Check back with me next week as I’m sure I’ll still be next in line on the queue.

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