Month: April 2022

What’s the phrase ‘All things come to those who wait?’ actually mean? If one is patient and willing to endure the interminable time before the dream becomes a reality (if indeed it ever does), then surely it will materialize. R-i-i-i-ght!

Or you can take the bull by the damn horns yourself. And that’s what I’m about to do. Now I do not equate this with something as perilous as running with the bulls in Pamplona, but it is a little risky and more than a little scary.

After trying for several years to get my latest book published the traditional way (query, agent, publisher, remainder rack), I’m going to creep out on the ledge of self-publishing, trying not to fall off in the process.

The book is one that has gone through a number of titles before its current one, A Coward’s Guide to Living. It’s a coming-of-middle-age story about a man charged with learning who he really is. He is charged will “killing” those things internally that prevent him from growing.

It started as My Eleven Suicides, Eleven Little Deaths, A Coward’s Guide to Living, and Jacob Will 2.0: A Coward’s Guide to Living. I have a favorite among these, but am interested in what you think works best: a hybrid of these or something new. Who knows, you may wind up creating the new title for it. If so, I’ll send you a copy of the book.

I look forward to your thoughts.

That’s what I hear way too many times at home when the phone rings, regardless of what the caller ID says. “It’s for you” is what I get.

And it’s never good news. Now let me set this straight – it’s not usually bad news either. Many of the calls I get must be a measurement of my popularity. That’s what I keep telling myself. Why else would I be getting so many of them??

The one thing they all have in common is an interest in: my health, my political leanings, my business listing, is my house for sale, car warranties, financial aid, medicare, animals in need of rescue, some obscure disease foundation dedicated to ending avian obesity, police and firemen, and of course will I support their obviously well-meaning and charitable organization. Though many of them are prerecorded, they all sound really sincere. I almost want to talk with them. Maybe we can become good friends. However, they all sound like either the same woman or man. Someone is working really hard.

Smartphones today enable one to block such calls, but only after the call had been made. So I assiduously block them. But this man or woman must have multiple phone lines to inquire after me as they keep calling. I wonder why are they so insistent upon talking with me. One might get the hint that a continued inability to speak with me is an indication of my interest in what they have to sell. But no.

So let’s set the record straight for that woman and man who are trying to reach me. If I need what you’re hawking, I’ll reach out to you. Really, I will. I’ll keep your toll-free number right by my phone. But in the meantime, I’ll…, wait, I got to pick up this call.