“We’re not fulltime stupid.” Really?

One of the small pleasures in traveling is watching local television. Usually it’s some buffoonish weatherman trying out material for his audition reel. Other times it can be just the silliness of a marble-mouthed reporter unable to pronounce the name of a perp or a foreign town.

That said, I’ve nothing to say about Newfoundland TV. It’s pretty basic fare: comedies, which are actually rather clever and entertaining; the standard, low expectation cops and robbers shoot ’em ups; news and weather; and of course the ubiquitous cable channels running infomercials for products of which no discernible need has ever been discovered.

However, because of cable and satellite TV, channels from other provinces can be watched. And because I was in Newfoundland, that was some of the electronic fodder to which I was subjected. I admit, I did it to myself, I was alone and the wine from the lobsters was gone.

So, on went the tube and down went my expectations until I stumbled upon a newscast on a channel from Hamilton, Ontario. It was nice, as Canada and Canadians are. This report had no stories of mayhem, political scandals, or even traffic jams. What it did have was a story featuring the mayor discussing a new curfew for teenagers. Apparently, there had been some problems and it had been decided by the town poobahs that a curfew would be just the ticket.

The reporter asked about certain things that might keep a teenager out after the curfew: would there be exceptions?

The mayor, straight-faced, serious as an IRS audit replied: “Of course, we’re not full time stupid.” Part-time, maybe?

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